


Probabilities

by Celia25



Series: Timing [3]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, OQ Prompt Party 2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 04:47:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14097534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Celia25/pseuds/Celia25
Summary: This story takes place in "Timing" verse, when Regina is pregnant with her third child and about to give birth.Written for OQ Prompt Party 2018Prompt # 186: Robin gives Regina a ring.





	Probabilities

_2018_

_Robin can’t help but notice that Regina is wearing an only ring in her right middle finger. It’s a beautiful three brilliant gold ring that had been a gift from him, just after little Roland was born. He had given it to her as a reminder of the three precious gifts she had given him: Lila, Henry and Roland; and, had told her each brilliant represented one of their children._

_“You still wear it”, Robin says looking at her fingers._

_“I never took it off. As complicated as things might have been between us, we made three beautiful, intelligent, caring, amazing human beings; and, I keep it as a reminder of them and their father” answers Regina, and she notes Robin is touched by her words._

_“Timing” verse_

* * *

2000

She thought that the probabilities to be through something like this were quite slim.         

But now everything has changed, and Regina is lying down on the examination table of an emergency room as the words Dr. Whale said a few minutes ago still echo in her mind.

  _I’m sorry, Regina if the baby doesn’t flip spontaneously during labor we will need to perform an emergency C-section_ _._

She’s not ready for this. It’s not even the time, she should still have an entire month before the baby arrives and her husband should be with her. But it happens that she’s only in week 36, in labor and terrified.

She began to feel some contractions since the day before but being her third pregnancy she just didn’t pay attention. She thought those were Braxton Hicks, and how wrong she’d been because later that night she had to call her best friend Emma to drive her to the hospital, while her neighbor stayed with her children.

And then everything happened as if Regina were watching a movie. Just after arriving at the emergency room, Dr. Whale examined her and confirmed that she was in labor, still beginning to dilate, but also confirmed that the baby continued in a transverse lie position, across her belly, which makes impossible a delivery in the traditional way.

She has been aware since her last control that her baby was not in the right position but the doctor said that in most cases the baby gets to flip somewhere after week 36, so when labor begins there are no problems with delivery. And, well, she should have had some time left to reach the 40th week of pregnancy for her baby to turn over naturally, so it hadn’t been necessary to discuss yet with her doctor the possibility of a C-section.  The good news is that, hopefully, there is still a chance that during labor the baby turns over and takes the normal position. She’ll just have to wait and see what happens while the doctors and nurses monitor her baby to be sure there’s no fetal suffering.

But the thing is that regardless of the two possible scenarios, she is about to have a baby in a few hours. A baby that shouldn’t be born yet, that maybe needs some time to finish its development in her womb; a baby that was conceived against all odds, while on birth control; a baby that is coming even though its parents didn’t plan to bring an addition to what they thought was a complete family.

Yes, her baby is coming today, and it doesn’t matter if she is not ready yet.

.........

Since Regina found out she was pregnant with her third child, things became very difficult for her. Physically, her third pregnancy ran smooth. She had very little morning sickness during the first three months, no swollen feet, no extra weight besides what is considered normal in pregnancy. She is a young woman, under her thirties, so there is almost no risk of high blood pressure, kidney malfunction or diabetes.

But emotionally this third pregnancy tore her down since the very beginning. First, it had been that Regina and her husband had discussed having another baby, and they both had agreed that their family was perfect just as it was with the two children they already had. Life was complicated (and expensive) enough with two children, and there was no need for a new addition to their family.

Then, it had been that this pregnancy was beyond any probability. With two kids under three to take care of, she had been very picky about the birth control method she chose, and the doctor had assured her that an IUD was the best option. She didn’t even pay attention to the 99% effectiveness of IUDs that the doctor had brought up during one of her appointments, and surely never thought to be the one out of 100 women in which the method failed. So, when she found out she was pregnant while using an IUD, she was devastated.

And finally, it had been that Regina had plans to begin working again. She had already sacrificed her career as a lawyer, when she had to quit a job after her oldest daughter, Lila, was born and, then, came Henry. She planned to wait until Henry turned two to enroll him in a daycare and then begin filing her resumée, but just some months after Henry turned one, she found out she was pregnant …and with that her plans of getting back to her professional life vanished.

However, even though her third pregnancy had been a surprise, Regina and Robin agreed that if they were able to conceive and an embryo, to implant in her womb, against all odds, someone powerful up there had something really important planned for their baby.  But this fact didn’t make things easier for her.

During her pregnancy, still having the support of her husband and knowing that her baby was developing healthy, she couldn’t help the feeling of constant sadness and exhaustion. Some days Regina didn’t even have the energy needed to get up from her bed, and during the first months of Regina’s pregnancy, Robin had to hire a full-day babysitter to take care of the older children and let Regina have some rest. Other days, fewer, Regina was able to have an almost normal routine, do the laundry, cook and take care of her children.

So, when two days ago she woke up so happy, full of energy, wanting to take the children out for a special day, she just had to go on with it. It had been months since she’d felt this way, and wanted to enjoy with her children the beautiful weather, and, well, ease some guilt for not having been able to have quality time with them during the prior months. She wanted to make up to her children for the lost time, for the many afternoons when she didn’t have any strength left to organize a play date with other kids, or just take them to the park. She thought that maybe this particular day in which she felt so good would be just that, one day and that soon the gray days, those filled with sadness, tiredness and desire only to sleep, would come back.

Regina knows now that she should have taken things slowly, there was no need to arrange a full-day in the park with a four and an almost two year old children.  Lila and Henry would have been just as happy staying home, playing with their toys, building cube towers …well, Lila building and Henry bringing down Lila´s efforts. She should not have been chasing Henry, that had decided to run from one side of the park to the other one saying  _no,no, no_ to every indication she made, while she was checking Lila from a prudent distance. No. She shouldn’t. She should have just waited for a willing husband to return from a business trip to help her organize a day off with the kids and with the hard work.

..........

Regina is nervous and there’s one thing that’ll surely help her calm her nerves …actually, one person: her husband. She needs to hear Robin’s voice, she needs his touch, his embrace. She feels alone and prays that her husband arrives in time. She knows it’s just a matter of time before the nurses will begin asking her to sign her consent to perform whatever additional procedures might be needed in case any complication happens during surgery; and, it would help feel less overwhelmed with someone by her side supporting her. And that person is Robin.

But having a good friend like Emma by her side helps, even though she would have preferred to have Robin. Emma is supportive, has a quick mind, knows all about Regina; so, Emma is the best option if Regina doesn’t get to have her husband.   

Emma has been trying to reassure Regina that everything will be fine, that C-sections are nowadays something performed to millions of women around the world, that she’s in good hands, and -what were the best news Regina could have right now- that Emma had already gotten in touch with Robin and he was trying to catch the next available plane to be with his wife and witness the birth of their third child.

But, moreover, besides feeling alone and vulnerable, Regina is scared. If something happens to her baby due to her negligence, she won’t forgive herself.  The rational side of her brain keeps telling her that everything will be fine, as Dr. Whale has assured her. He said that a C-section at this stage has no additional risk than the ones performed later in a pregnancy, and although her baby is technically premature at 36 weeks, it is almost a full term baby, so there shouldn’t be any complications for her or the baby. But the irrational part of her brain isn’t helping at all. She can’t stop thinking that this is all about probabilities and possibilities. She is the chosen one, out of 100 women, that gets pregnant on birth control while using an IUD; her baby is the one, out of 400 babies (that’s the data the good Dr. Whale had told her), that is still in transverse position when labor began and is refusing to flip. So, she doesn´t even want to know what the probabilities and possibilities are of having complications during a C-section. She is terrified and needs her husband!

Still, the worse is that she is in pain. Even though her contractions are not that frequent, they are intense and last more than a minute. She knows that if the baby doesn’t change its position, the C-section is the only option left.

It seems hours have passed since she arrived at the Hospital when it has been less than half an hour. Regina continues in the emergency room, the nurses had already changed her into a hospital gown and there are several sensors placed on her belly that are tracking the baby’s heartbeat and well-being. She knows that she and her baby are well taken care of, but she is worried about the surgery. She would have preferred a natural delivery, and she knows time’s running out because the doctor had been very clear about that either, he will only wait for a prudent amount of time and avoid any unnecessary risks.  So, even though Regina knows that Dr. Whale will wait for another couple of hours, the nurses and other physicians have already begun the routine tests before surgery, and this is stressing her.

She’s stressed, in pain, vulnerable, scared …she’s a mess, and swears to God that she won’t go through this ever again in her life. It seems the probabilities and possibilities of some of the events in her life are playing dirty with her and nothing assures her that despite all the measures she’ll take in the future, she won’t be through something like this again. She needs to talk to Dr. Whale, so, as soon as he comes to check on her, she takes advantage of it.

“Dr. Whale, you know how I got pregnant and this is my third child. I …I …” a contraction comes and Regina stops talking, takes a deep breath, closes her eyes, waits some seconds, and continues “ …I want to ask …hmm …if you need to perform a C-section …maybe, you could tie my tubes?”, says Regina.

Dr. Whale is an experienced gynecologist and, in his line of work, he hears odd stories and weird questions; so, he doesn’t even blink when a woman under her thirties requests him to tie her tubes, and only asks, to make sure Regina understands the scope of what she requests, “Regina, are you asking me to limit substantially the possibility for you to have more children?”

“Yes. That’s what I’m asking you. I got pregnant with an IUD and this could happen again. I don’t want a fourth child”, answers Regina taking advantage of the time she has between contractions.

“Regina, have you talked about this with your husband? This is a decision that affects both of you. What if he wants more children?” says Dr. Whale and he watches how a contraction hits Regina, so he uses the little time he has to add “and, Regina, a tubal ligation is not a 100% effective method either, one woman out of 1000 happens to get pregnant while having the tubes tied. If you ask me, it would be still possible for you to get pregnant”.

Shit.

It seems she’s doomed to the world of statistics, numbers, probabilities and possibilities but she insists. She’s stubborn and not even pain would get in the way of obtaining what she thinks is the best  “Robin and I have already talked about not wanting a third child …and, we agreed on that, so I think he’ll agree on this”.

“You know, this is not a decision that should be taken in a moment like this, when you’re experiencing a lot of stress …and pain. I wouldn’t recommend such measure. There are other ways to have more effective protection than what you had before. You can combine two methods. What if you change your mind? Or want to have a family with someone else in some years?” says Dr. Whale trying to give Regina some facts that maybe help her change her mind.

 “I insist Dr. Whale. Still if the possibility of getting pregnant will be there, the probability will be even lower”.

 “Okay, Regina, this is your right. However, I will only perform a tubal ligation on three conditions. First, if your husband agrees too; then, that you to talk to Dr. Hooper; and, finally, that I perform a surgery that can be reversed by the reconnection of your tubes, if you later change your mind, _but_ …” and Dr. Whale puts emphasis on that word, and lifts one of his fingers to be sure he doesn’t miss Regina’s attention “…the later you reconnect your tubes, fewer probabilities to get pregnant again”.

“I understand and I agree” is the only thing Regina gets to say before another contraction hits her.

...........

Robin is a lucky man. He had always been.

As a child, he was the one who got more gifts in Christmas because his godmother happened to be a very wealthy woman that had no kids, and saw in Robin the son she couldn’t have and always wanted.

As a teen, he was the one who hung out with the most popular girls of the class. In school he was the one that when he had no homework done or hadn’t studied for an exam, the teacher reported sick and Robin could get away with it.

In college he was envied for almost every student, because he dated and began a relationship with the woman that filled the dreams and fantasies of most of them: Regina Mills. But he was lucky enough (well it wasn’t only luck, he had a natural charm and a beautiful soul) to win the heart, marry and build a family with that same woman. He was such a lucky bastard!

And, it seems his luck is still with him after all those years, because as soon as Emma calls him and tells him that his wife will have his baby in few hours, he rushes to the airport, and is lucky enough to get the only available seat in the next flight, which allows him to arrive at the hospital just in time.

He enters the hospital, almost bumping into a sign of “Wet Floor”, and as soon as he reaches the front desk asks for Mrs. Locksley. He panics when there’s no registration of Regina but suddenly remembers she never changed her name, so he asks again to check if a Mrs. Mills is registered as a patient, and then he gets his answer.

He finds out that Regina is no longer in the emergency area, but instead has been moved to a room on an upper floor and is being prepared for surgery.

As soon as he enters the room, he finds Regina in a bed, almost sitting and not lying down. She has several sensors on her belly and an IV in one of her hands. Her eyes are closed and she looks so tired and sweaty, but he knows she’s not asleep.

He comes in without even knocking the door, gets by her side, takes her free hand in his, kisses her forehead and says “Hey, I’m here. How are you? …how’s the baby?”

Regina opens her eyes slowly and thinks that maybe she’s hallucinating because of the pain and tiredness, and that it’s only a trick of her mind because thoughts of this same man have been in her mind for the last hours. But as soon as she feels his arms around her and his scent, she knows it’s real. She knows he managed to be in time …to be with her, and their baby.

“Robin …I …I’m so scared. The baby has not turned …” She is interrupted by a contraction, she closes her eyes, breathes, tries to put on practice what she knows, but nothing seems to work and ease the pain. She hears Robin say “Breathe, babe …it will pass soon, just breathe and focus on my voice”. It works. Regina feels alleviated and thinks how everything would have been so much easier, if she’d just have him by her side since the beginning of this nightmare.

Regina continues “…Dr. Whale will perform the C-section. I’m so lucky you got here in time, they are about to take me for surgery anytime, but I wanted to talk to you before”.

“Regina, we can talk later, maybe they can put you the epidural right now, so you won’t be in pain”.

“Robin! I need to talk to you _now_! exclaims Regina, raising her voice so that Robin has no choice but to look at her and wait for what she has to say.

“Okay, babe, what is it?”

“Do you remember when I found out I was pregnant with Henry? Do you remember when we discussed having more children?” asks Regina trying to talk quickly, although she knows she has some time before another contraction begins.

“I do. I remember we both agreed that two children were enough ...well, and then happened _this_ ”, Robin smiles as he talks and gesticulates with his hands pointing to Regina’s belly.

“And, now, do you think you’ll want more children, Robin?”

“If two were enough, I think with three kids we’ll have a lot of work like forever …I …I think that I’ll be happy if we only had these three kids, but if a fourth one comes, it’ll always be welcomed”, answers Robin smiling and showing those dimples that Regina loves so much.

Regina knows this is not the best moment to get distracted by those dimples, she needs to talk to Robin, and luckily make a life-changing choice within the following minutes, so she continues “If I ask Dr. Whale to perform a most drastic surgery so that the probability of getting pregnant would be very low, would you agree?” as soon as Regina finishes talking, she feels relieved after sharing with her husband the choice she is about to make.

“Are you sure about this? And, what if we change our minds in some years? Is this something permanent or is there a chance to reverse it?” Robin asks all the questions that come to his mind after hearing Regina.

“Dr. Whale says he would perform this surgery so that it can be reversed just in case we change our minds. It seems there’s some way to do this, where the tubes can be reconnected”, explains Regina.

“I would have preferred to discuss this under other circumstances, Regina. I think it’s not the best moment to make any …sort of permanent decision”.

“Robin, you’ve seen me struggle for the last months. I don’t want to go through this again …I …I just think three kids are a lot; two were driving me nuts! And sometimes you’re not even home, and it’s exhausting ...Do you imagine how would it be taking care of four?” says Regina, and she is almost desperate. She’s tired, in pain, nervous and wants to be done with this soon, and maybe Robin needs some reassurance from someone different than her, so she adds “Dr. Hooper came to check on me, at Dr. Whale’s request. Both wanted to make sure I’m not taking any choice because of this particular situation, and that I am aware of what I ask and its consequences for the future, and Dr. Hooper said I’m in full use of my mental faculties, and thinking clearly, despite all the stress …and pain”.

“It’s good to know this decision is not because of how you feel right now. Kids grow up, work will not always be the same. But I agree, it’s a lot of work and you’ve been handling on your own mostly …and most people nowadays settle with two kids, we’re giving the world a little more”, says Robin, and then he looks through the window, just stares to the line of cars waiting for a traffic light to change, but he doesn’t say anything. It’s like if he’s thinking about something in particular but doesn’t make up his mind to tell Regina, but after some seconds he begins to talk.

“Hmm …Regina, there’s one more thing I’d want to be clear. I know we’re together …had been married for four years now, we’re good, I love you Regina, I hope you know it, but what if …I don’t know …we …hmm …divorce, or …I know it’s not the best moment to say this, but what if one of us dies …and if it’s me maybe you’d want to have a child …”

Well, Regina hasn’t even thought about divorce. To be honest, since all this nightmare began she has been thinking more of the risk of dying during surgery than anything else, but certainly not about divorce. “Stop, Robin. I am happy …I …I think we both are and I already have everything I need …and, it’s with you …I don’t need anything else”, says Regina with tears beginning to pool in her eyes.

“Okay, babe. I agree with you. I’ll tell the doctor to bring the consent for the procedure so you can sign it… and let’s go meet our little boy!”, exclaims Robin with excitement.

“I love you, Robin”

“And I love you, babe. You can’t imagine how much. I’ll be by your side the whole time …Dr. Whale already authorized that I enter the operation room during your surgery”, Robin says those words as he takes one of his hands to Regina’s face and caresses it with his thumb.

She only says taking a deep sigh “Let’s do this”.

And, with that, they kiss before another contraction hits Regina again.

........

“Hey!” says Robin trying to speak in a quiet voice as he enters the hospital room where his wife is.

Regina has just been released from the recovery room, where she spent a little more than two hours after her baby was born.

She has an IV still in one of her hands and a catheter, that peeks from below her hospital gown, attached with some sort of tape to one of her clavicles. Clearly, it’s something the doctors had left on purpose that would be used to administer some painkillers using the same incision they made in her spine when they put the epidural anesthesia.

“Hi!” answers Regina, and immediately asks “Did you see the baby? They haven’t brought him to me yet. They said they wanted to check him. Please, Robin …tell me our baby is okay”.

Robin sits on the edge of the bed, trying to be very careful so that he doesn’t touch by accident Regina’s wound. He gets close to Regina and whispers “Our baby is okay. He’s beautiful. He got your hair and your eyes, you know. He’s so tiny, but he’s a fighter…Did you hear how he cried? Technically still a premature but he has pretty strong lungs”.

“I bet he got your dimples. We’ll just have to wait for him to begin smiling”, says Regina smiling softly at the idea of a dimpled little boy.

“Babe, the doctor said you shouldn’t talk. They’ll bring the baby later for you to nurse him, but, before someone comes I have something for you”, says Robin as he takes a little box wrapped with a golden ribbon from a pocket in his shirt.

“Robin, what …what is this?” asks Regina trying to incorporate a little so that she is not lying down completely.

And, as soon as Robin realizes Regina’s efforts to move, he stands up and reaches the buttons in one of the bed’s side lifting the upper side of the bed slowly until Regina is in a semi-sitting position.

“Regina, you have given me the best gifts someone can: my three children. I just wanted to give you something that represents my gratitude and love for you. Let me help you open it”. Robin holds the little box so that Regina can pull one of the ends of the ribbon to loosen it and, finally, open the box.

Regina lifts the lid, looks insides and can’t hide her surprise. There, placed in a velvety blue base, is a gold ring with three brilliants. The elegant and feminine design of the ring makes the three stones stand out. Robin takes the ring from its box and puts it in Regina’s middle finger, as he says “This ring is a little demonstration of my gratitude for the three beautiful children you’ve carried with so much love and care. Three stones for each of our children …and, it was very difficult to find something different from an engagement ring …so, I guess this is another kind of engagement and a reminder of my unconditional love and commitment, whatever the circumstances, to you and our children”.

Regina is so touched by Robin’s gift and words. She can’t believe how this man manages to be so perfect and surprises her in a moment like this with a special gift and a beautiful speech. Moreover, what amazes her the most is that the baby shouldn’t have been born yet, she shouldn’t have begun labor that soon; so, this means that Robin had her gift a while ago, and was just waiting for the time to come.

She only gets to say “Robin, this is beautiful and very meaningful”, before a knock on the door interrupts the moment.

“Good night, here is your baby. I’ll bring it to you so that you can hold him”, says the nurse, as she carries the baby and places him in Regina’s arms. “I´ll leave now. If you need anything just press the button”.

Robin and Regina, completely mesmerized by how perfect their baby is, begin to explore their baby’s little body. They caress his little hands, his little ears, his head covered with dark baby hair, the same color as his mother’s, his little feet, his toes …he is just perfect!

Regina talks first “Hi, Roland! This is your mom. I am so happy finally meeting you and that you are here with us now”. As soon as she finishes talking, she kisses her baby’s head and watches with delight how he turns his little head to one of his sides.

“Hi, Roland, this is your dad! I can’t wait to take you home to meet your siblings. I have planned so many things to do with you, Lila and Henry”. Robin takes Roland’s little hand and kisses it as they watch again how the baby turns his head and opens his little mouth.

“I think he is hungry”, says Regina as she opens her gown to free a swollen breast. Roland out of pure instinct takes his mouth to Regina’s nipple, grabs it fiercely with it and begins sucking.  

Regina feels as if pointy needles come from inside her body, until they leave her breast. It’s the milk flowing, she remembers.  And as she nourishes her baby, she watches her husband gazing at her with tears in his eyes, and feels whole, happy, completely in love with the man by her side and the baby in her arms. She smiles at him and thinks she already has everything she needs.

However, some years later, fate would prove her how wrong she’d been.

Regina is sure that during the years that will follow she would never regret requesting surgery to lower the probabilities to have more children; and, not even once, having a third child.

And, she is right. Ironically, she thanked God for the margin of error of IUD’s since the very first time she held Roland in her arms. And, not even the many appointments during Roland’s cognitive behavioral therapy, nor the ones to rule out his ADHD, nor all the times Robin and she had been at the Principal’s office because Roland had been in a fight or just abandoned a classroom without permission, made her think how could her life have been without Roland.

But what Regina doesn’t know is that some years later, she would begin feeling unhappy, incomplete, angry; and that her marriage to the very same man that is by her side right now, looking at her with so much love in his eyes as she nurses their baby,  would end.

And, she wouldn’t have guessed that she will keep wearing the ring Robin gave her when Roland was born, for many years to come; regardless that her marriage to Robin would be over, or that she would be married to another man for some years. Maybe, because it was a reminder of her children; perhaps because she would recall each time she looked at it, the circumstances in which Robin gave it to her, and the words he said; or maybe because it’s just some cruel evidence of what she once had ...and she is well aware that the probabilities to retrieve what she lost are very few. Aren't they?

 

 


End file.
